Pages

Sunday, September 10, 2017

What if the Man Behind the Curtain Looks Just Like Me?

WHAT IF THE MAN BEHIND THE CURTAIN LOOKS JUST LIKE ME?

Well howdy-do! That’s a jolt.  What? Me? Nooooo?  But wait. Isn’t there something that I am responsible for here?  Why do we feel a need to put a BIG SCARY “GOD-LIKE” MAN BEHIND THE CURTAIN?  A “demi-god” who only wants to whip up hysteria and keep us paranoid and in fear so that we overlook our own GOOD and evil powers?  Isn’t it just avoidance of our own powers and denial of our own responsibilities?  Why do we feel we need to turn over our powers to something outside of our ownselves?  Why must something man-like be in control of everything?  Why can’t we just find a BALANCE between surrendering to powers larger to our selves and trying to control everything? These projections of our power and responsibility miss the point of what we can do to change dynamics around us; they muddy up the waters of where actions can be taken and cause excessive turbulence and disturbances that are like “trying to push the river” or being Sisyphus perpetually behind the impossible task.  Why not step out from the projection room, step out from behind that rock that SHOULDN’T be pushed up hill and FLOW with the river?  Why not understand that there are forces (Divine, God, Source, Cosmic or what ever name you wish to call it) that are outside of man’s control and surrender with LOVING acceptance?  Why not understand that man has taken on way too much hubris, playing god with the toys that are way beyond their moral ability to handle properly (they are engaged in fears and not love)?  Why not understand that we as individuals have tremendous powers to step out from behind the Sisyphean rock and find another more empowered and fruitful mission aligned in LOVE (not fears or hate).  Let’s look in our own hearts for the “evil”.  What evils you say?  Well things you probably hardly even register as “evil” when there are such scary monsters (you fill in the blank on that one!) out there.  Subtle things that each of us are guilty of at varying degrees which include negative thoughts, fears of lack (which creates hoarding and greed), fears of inadequacy (which project as power-tripping), and anything not vibrating with kindness and authenticity.  We are empowered beings that have great potential for good.  Everything that man has made has potential for some good and many of the things made by made can be used for evil.  It ALL is a balancing act and a willingness to take responsibility for our own powers and own actions.  

But then isn't my effort to challenge this tide of hysteria a 'Pushing the River' and a Sisyphean task? Maybe there is more work I need to do to uncover my own projections..... Pondering this myself.

by Angie Bray-Widner
September 10, 2017



Saturday, September 2, 2017

"It Never Occurred to Me to Pray for Dirt" - A Pisces-Virgo Polarity Story

The Big Island near Pahoa is a very magical place.  One piece of this magic took a few years to be revealed to me. If you’ve lived in or had other intimate experiences of this land, the vast expanses of black jagged lava hosting magnificent volumes of tropical vegetation, surely color your memory.  But have you noticed, there are tracks of this blackness with little to no plant life, except the tenacious ‘Ohi’a tree (the myth of that is a story in itself).  
They barely have any soil to work with, yet they persist. Thanks to the high humidity, rainfall, birds, winds and miracles, soils do re-establish on some areas of lava.  It takes time, effort, cultivation and... well... intervention by outside forces that include humans. 

A few years back I had the pleasure to spend a week near Pahoa on a retreat and then a day at a friend’s off-grid, self-sustaining farm.  She and her husband had done so many wonders to the place, including building their own small efficient home, growing their vegan sustenance and re-establishing vegetation through their small acreage.  They composted like the world was ending and had wheelbarrows and shovels to transport this black gold throughout their land.  She loved their life but made this statement, “I always wanted my own land, but it never occurred to me to PRAY FOR DIRT.”  At the time we both laughed.  It never emerged again in my consciousness until last night.  I lie alone in the darkness of the cabin surrounded by wilderness and water, with only access by boat, while my husband was off on a canoe trip.   The silly statement tickled my mind as I struggled to sleep.

It wasn’t land, dirt or Hawaii that triggered the memory.  It was a relationship in trouble from a Pisces Virgo dilemma.  We both have a huge dose of the Pisces-Virgo polarity in our birth charts. I have higher doses of Virgo than he does.  I dreamed of having a prince who would make me laugh, go on adventures with me, participate in providing abundance, appreciate my life pursuits, enjoy step-parenting my daughter and help me to step out of the controlled and mundane Virgo side of myself.  I got my Piscean dream man and literally the Piscean land we own together.  From a big oversight in understanding, my own self-worth wounds, how God and the Universe works and not knowing astrology at the time, I forgot to pray for dirt!  The land we own has very shallow dirt on lava rocks in Flagstaff Arizona AND our relationship has very shallow dirt with lots of superficial loveliness.

This prince image is very Piscean – an amazing, lovely, fun and endlessly interesting and even quite loving man who provides a share of the wealth.  The catch is, like the expansive lava flow (Pisces), he often isn’t concerned with the “dirt of our lives” (Virgo)  - the literal practical details holding the life together as well as the dirt of our emotional landscape.  Our joint emotional landscape is nearly barren, dotted by bits of dirt that harvested with considerable effort.  Small roots of hope find their way into this shallow soil of relationship; love barely has purchase.  Shifts of the lava of our individual focuses dissolve the efforts so often.  His lava flows in constant travel or in virtual and literal escapisms.  My own lava flows in a Virgo workaholic-way through excessive dives in my passions of astrology and art.  The little mining and cultivating of emotional needs come mostly from this Virgo (often on a confused and avoiding Pisces).  Confrontation and talking about feelings are nearly taboo and deflected by the Pisces. Happiness must reign at any cost for peace to find some balance. This is an empty and lonely existence in Camelot.

I’m praying for dirt now but ALSO with a balance of the wild land to cultivating a deeper and more rewarding and sustaining enriched life.  Virgo realizes they can’t go-it-alone; it takes at least two to work, tend and grow the soil as well as bring the diversity of other skills so that the delights of life find deeply rooted purchase within. 

Don’t forget to pray for dirt when praying for land it may seem like an obvious part of the deal, but too often it isn’t. 


From Moose Lake, Ely, Minnesota.  A very idyllic place.
September 2, 2017
By Angie Bray-Widner


"Footnotes"
In case it wasn't clear above, here's further connection to the Virgo and Pisces analogies.  Lava and volcanic activity is the unexpected, chaos that houses potential to dissolve life; this is very Pisces.  The wild and untamed “land” of the near-barren lava is Pisces realm of infinite freedom to just BE.  Magic that brings soils to the grooves between the jagged rocks is Pisces.  Soil, in and of it self, is magical with all the microbes, nutrients and potentials; therefore Soil is Pisces.  Soil is Pisces, yet Dirt is VirgoSoil is Virgo’s canvas – it is the basis of many interventions by humans to utilize its magic for sustaining life through cultivation.  Getting DIRTY is what is necessary to do the work to farm and cultivate and re-vegetate the land that is a Virgo’s action. Paying attention to the details, even when the going is tough is Virgo’s worry and motivation; sticking feet into the muck to gain rooting and traction is Virgo’s way of grounding its efforts.  Harvesting the fruits of the hard work and digging into the fertile soil is the reward bestowed upon Virgo.  Virgo is the perfection of the embodiment of the soul that comes of getting dirty (emotionally and spiritually).  Virgo IS Human intervention of the wild and untamed to reshape and utilize life efficiently. 

Pisces is the essence of the open ultimate perfection of SOURCE that has no bounds; it is free to flow through life as it wishes happy to simply be.  Pisces can’t be bothered by human effort and can dissolve them in a blink of an eye (or a slow advance of a lava flow).  It takes for granted that life will flourish and multiply throughout – luck seems to follow. But sometimes and often, necessarily so, intervention, planning, work, digging into the dirt and getting dirty with the details is required.   Life is messy (Pisces) and things DO need to be cleaned up (Virgo).