By Angie Bray-Widner – 12/14/11
At the precipice, debating with my fears, go for it or hold back? Allow fear to consume me and convince me to turn back? Don’t I know my own skills and abilities better than this? Don’t I know the tools and equipment I have at my disposal are good and designed for the job at hand? Don’t I know that there’s a guidance system (God, Divine-source, common sense, unconscious knowing or whatever it is) that will preserve me and maybe even allow for something extraordinary? Aren’t the benefits of going forward more rewarding than holding back? Is my comfort zone ready to expand? How real are the cautions and warnings underlying the fear? All these questions flash before me as I ponder the shift awaiting me.
Fear… it can prevent us from going forward, hinder our progress or even get us hurt because our focus was distracted by that fear. Certain fears are obvious and understandable and can even serve us well. Other fears grab us in most unexpected and subtle ways including: fear of not being in control, fear of not being good enough, fear of getting emotionally hurt, fear of rejection, fear of the unknown, fear of leaving our comfort zone, fear of fear. No matter what kind of fear, empowerment, freedom and life-enjoyment come from looking into the face and source of your fears then taking a deep breath and LETTING GO.
Evaluate the relevance of the fear welling up inside you. Is it a clear warning of physical danger? Is it a tape playing in your head of the “rumored” fear (placed there by society, family, mainstream media or even your own experience)? Surprisingly, the tapes play incessantly driving us to give up for fear of the unknown. This disempowerment can be emotionally and psychologically devastating.
Taking on certain adventure sports for the first time in my mid-40s, I’ve learned fear has encompassed more of my life than I had believed. Through these experiences, I’ve faced fears that were legitimate but often exaggerated. Whether I endeavor to scale the face of a mountain from a rope or birth a creative project, the nature of how fear works through me is surprisingly similar, as is the exhilaration of letting go of that fear.
In facing and pushing past the exaggerated fears faced in these adventure sports, I’ve come to realize I have also held, “unknowingly”, to a significant level of the subtle fears in my everyday life. Fears of criticism, unworthiness, lost control, and more have hindered my progress in my creative life and have pushed me into pursuing “safe” and unfulfilling alternatives.
Whether it is roped-in at the top of a summit stepping backwards into a rappel, careening down a rocky hillside on a mountain bike or embracing the inner-critic who prevents me from producing something creative, there is great joy and freedom in letting go of the fear. Trusting my skills, trusting my equipment/tools, trusting survivor instincts, trusting in the Divine Source (God). Empowerment lies in this trust. Freedom comes from this letting go and giving into this trust.
Certainly, there must be a balance allowing recognition of rational fears that should inform us of when a situation requires limits on forward movement. I have no problem getting off my mountain bike and walking an extra steep/rocky descent because my current skill level isn’t up to the par of that task. But sometimes, I recognize that the level of that rational fear is just turned up a notch too high and this is one opportunity to push myself to the next level.
Interestingly, the more I attempt to hold tight and control my bike down bumpy descents, the more I fight the skis as they turn on the snow, the more I seize-up with fear on the climbing ascent or descent, the more likely I am to prevent my equipment/skills/God from giving me the best experience (and may even open the possibility of getting myself or my partner hurt). If I loosen my grip as the bike glides over the rocky trail, the suspension in the bike “takes” the bump and keeps me upright rather than planted into the ground. The exhilaration of reaching the blustery summit overlooking miles of beauty and knowing you, God and your equipment allowed for this feat is truly empowering and soul-lifting. Feeling your bike move you over terrain you would have considered impossible to navigate months before is loads of fun and boost your self-confidence in all aspects of your life.
Facing the fears of these adventure sports has caused me to question the rationality of other fears holding me back in other parts of my life. Those subtle fears governing whether I allow a creative project to see the light of day, what career paths I’ve taken or should refuse or what relationships I’ve avoided or hung onto. Each life choice made under the influence of fear is bound to be limited forward-progress, harmful to self and others around you, and certainly limited life joy.
Recognize the source of your fears and let go of those that don’t serve you. Embrace the freedom and exhilaration of finding courage to step outside of your comfort zone and into new realms. Enjoy life to the fullest!
